Doubt, Hesitation and their Cost

Doubt and Hesitation, these are words I know all too well, words that have had a huge negative impact on my life and my life going forward; These words have dangerous implications.

We all know what Doubt is, we all know what Hesitation is, but what we fail to understand or awkknoeldge is just how dangerous these words are, the damage they can do.

In our life we are always going to have moments of doubt and hesitation, that is a known fact about having free will, is these feeling are inevitable. Though one thing we must be mindful of when it comes to this, if we let them hinder our thoughts or decisions they can kill us.

Doubt makes us second guess ourselves, second guess our decisions and make irrational and unexpected calls in moments that we deem important to our life. These can be as mundane as changing what we want from the fast food menu or canceling a date because we are not sure if we really like the person.

The issue with this is we start to ask ourselves “What IF?” and this can destroy even the most solid mind, wreak havoc on our ability to think and force us to change who we are. If even for a moment you let doubt win, and change your plans, remember to be confident in that decision, other wise you will begin to doubt more things in your life and that can lead down a dangerous path.

The only thing I can say about Doubt, try and not second guess your choices and if you do, make sure that your decision is quick and decisive, and always ask yourself “What IF” to make sure you are happy with the decision. If no concrete choice can be made, go with your first instinct or first choice.

Now this leads me into Hesitation, Hesitation is just as, if not more so dangerous then Doubt, Why? Because it makes you hesitate, and if you hesitate it could cost you your life or something you deem as important to your life. If you hesitate to ask that girl our, or hesitate to apply for that job and you miss a great opportunity because you waited a moment to long; you only have to blame yourself. In life act decisive and do not let hesitation hold you in place too long. Trust your instincts and trust in your own mind.

When you are driving hesitation can cost you your life, or the life of someone else, it is important to have muscle memory and make plans for every outcome as to lessen the time you have to think, and it decreases the chances of hesitation costing you something.

Practice being decisive, practice being quick and most of all practice being the best you, never let doubt and hesitation affect your life, you are better then that.

*Authors Note: Please remember these are drafts and will be revised as wording and flow are improved.

Revelation, Redemption and Rebirth

Revelation, Redemption and Rebirth are three words that have some very interesting implications, and a very simple story, at least for me. These three words flashed across my mind as I was doing yard work in my early teens, and they have stuck with me, been a defining phrase for me.

I wondered why these words came to me in this fashion and why they stuck with me. I think part of the reason is the fact that they are connected and have a power that emanates from them, but like all things, that is still to be pondered.

Reveltion, Redemption and Rebirth are facts of life, a part of growth as a soul, as a being of any sort. You see, we are in a constant state of flux and evolution in this life, and are constantly living to be better then we were yesterday.

Take Revelation for example; a word that means to realize or have something revealed to you, and when these events occur in your life, it can be life changing and altering on a way we never fathomed. It forces us to face ourselves in the mirror and begin to question why we are doing things, what we are doing and what we can do to change it.

This in turn forces us to seek Redemption for our past, to ask forgiveness from our friends or family we have turned away from, even forgiveness from our selves for making the mistakes that we have. After this kind of revelation, redemption becomes a way of life, a way to sort through our past and correct, or alter the path we are on to become better, and stronger then we were before.

The final stage of this constant cycle is Rebirth, once we have had a Revelation, sought and achived some form of Redemption we begin the process of Rebirth.

Rebirth is how we start new, or fresh how we can begin to reveal the new and improved version of ourself, we shed the skin, the shell of our old life in exchange for a fresh out look, new perspective and a hopefully a wiser version of ourselves.

This is our constant struggle in life, to always be aware that this life, our souls and our flesh are in a constant state of flux and change and I eblive that these words embody that better then anything else.

Remember, we can always be better then we are.

Revelation, Redemption, Rebirth.

The Colours and Their Meaning

I have mentioned colours, and I should go into a bit of detail on what they mean and what kind of power they carry. There are 6 colours that we have use to help us define our orders and sects, Black, White, Blue, Green, Red, Gold, these are the most used colors and most prominent with the the Seeker family.

Black; Black has a few meanings, the primary one is Truth, a Seeker who choses Black as their primary colour favours facts, figures and truth in everything they do, this can be a problem as they will go out of there way to find lies and expose them, this does not do well in a normal enviroment.

Black is also the colour of death, and can be used to represent the end of something, it can mean a lot of different things depending on if it is on its own or with a complementary color. In my case my colors are black and gold, which means light in the darkness, truth above all else. We chose the colors that best describe our personality and postion in the order, this is generally a subconscious act.

White; White means innocent, curiosity or purity, those that favour white tend to appear to be naive, and innocent of the world around them, they would rather start at a flower or watch a river run and enjoy the moment. White is about enjoying the experiences and being innocent to it. They can even be a bit out to lunch as it were because they don’t appear to understand time and will have the wonder of a child at anything they see, and will go out of there way to see something new, they are attracted to it. White or people that chose white as their dominate colour tend to be a bit aloof.

Blue; blue is about our emotions and how we handle them and view the world, people who chose blue tend to have a vast understanding of their own and other peoples emotional well being and will seem to be able to know how you are feeling. They are very emphatic and aware of the mood around them. They are generally shy quiet people who are easily overwhelmed by others emotions to the point of avoiding human contact. They can also appear to despise conflict of any kind as this can upset there balance. They believe emotions should be embraced and not shut off from the world.

Green; Green is life, it is nature it is the very core of our existence; green is about living things and their connection to us and to the world around us, people who are green will always be surrounded by living things, weather that is plants, pets or people, they need to be connected to them in some way. They will place plant, animal and insect life above that of humans, as they feel people are not as valuable as the ants on the ground. Green people tend to appear self centered and weird, but I can assure you, they are some of the kindess and most genuine of the Seekers.

Red; Red is about passion, Reds can sometimes be very flamboyant, unpredictable and loud as they do not do anything without reason, purpose or strength.

Gold; gold is about light, about hope, those that favour gold tend to be very optimistic, very energized to bring change to bad situations and generally will keep the flames burning long after others have given up, they belive that no matter what, there is always hope, always reason to continue. They will fight to the death to remind people that there is always a way, always a will to survive. The are the embodyment and personification of Keep Moving Forward. Even when black, bloodied and injured, approaching death, they will still smile for there is still hope. Never Give Up.

These are just some of the colors and these are the colors that I see on a regular basis, there are more but those are far more detailed and will take a lot more time to break them down.

Author’s Note: These are live entries and will be changed and edited as I complete each section.

What are We?

I am often asked what a Seeker is, why I chose that title, and what do I hope to accomplish in my life.

First and foremost, we are all Seekers of something, I am a Seeker of Truth and Enlightenment and as I stated before my colors are black and gold. I am a finder of ways and teacher of those who seek wisdom. I have even been known to walk the abys and save wayward souls from their own hands.

Seekers have some type of natural sixth sence that they are born with, most are not encouraged to develop it as it can be a little unerving and strange. As a child I seemed to have a connection to animals, I even had a moth as a friend… My dad thought that it was so weird that I could communicate with an insect, he killed it, and told me he flew away.

Parents tend to have a tough time understanding children who carry the soul of a Seeker, we have knowledge, wisdom and gifts that are beyond our years and are often thought to be sick or mentally ill.

One of the most common ‘cures’ of our ailment is suppression of our emotional and spiritual connection to the world, we are told that it is not normal, not okay and that if we wish to be normal, make friends and grow up we must conform to the rules, this leads to a high rate of suicide from Seekers, we make up about 30 percent of all teen suicides. We are also more prone to drugs and alcohol and pot in particular has a high rate of creating schizophrenic people, it allows the mind to actually split into different parts and each one becomes separate entity wanting control of the flesh, despite knowing that they are one person. They try and be all the people that they needed to be to survive. We are very rarely left to develop normally. We are forced to change.

One of my gifts is my ability to know and feel certain things about people, I know what people are hiding, I can see their souls, and can figure out a person, generally at a glance I know where I stand. This can be unnerving, but in a sales job, or as a councilor it makes you more aware and perceptive of who you are dealing with.

It also appears that I can predict the future, but this is only true with the events are strong enough to pull on the energy of the world and cause it to shift, we are but a drop on a pond, and we can occasionally feel the ripples of other drops.

We are mortal, yet we know we are not, we know we have lives before this one, and that we have people we are connected to through out time, my daughter for instance, she was one of us before, and she will be again, she will stand with me as my child, and as my student as she finds her gifts and place once again. We are more then just simple bio machines.

I understand that this might seem a bit rambling, and disjointed, but everything here needs to be said, and I feel it needs to be said to add to this text. You see, one of the things that being a Seeker entails is understanding that sometimes, what you feel you have to do, or need to do something that defies explanation, A blind lead of faith if you will to better understand the bigger picture.

I am a Seeker, I am here to teach, guide and help those who are lost on their path, and if you feel these words resonate with you, then perhaps you should take a look inside your self. Mediation, can and always has been a gateway into your mind, but remember, sometimes you meet parts of your inner self that scare you, that is OK, so long as they do not consume you.

As I stated in the page before, we are Dark and Light, Good and Evil, Kindness and cruelty all in one, it is up to us to keep our perceptions and our values in the forefront of our daily actions, to always strive to be better, stronger and faster then we were yesterday.

Knowledge is power, read, teach, learn and improve each and everyday you are here, these are skills and value that we cannot comprehend today, but maybe invaluable tomorrow.

As such, this concludes my writings of today, as always, be mindful and perceptive of your own reflections.

Philosophy and Religion

This isn’t my first attempt to put these thoughts to words, nor will it be my last; I am a Seeker of Truth and Enlightenment and one of the few who remain. This is about my struggle with my place and my views on the world, and for those who read this a glimpse into a hidden world, and for my fellow Seekers; a reminder that we, as few who remain are not alone.

I have been asked what my religion is, I have been questioned on it my whole life and recently I decided it was worth sharing; though for those who meet me in the street, I offer $100 cash if you can give me its true and original name.

I will start by stating that we are not an organized religion, though we predate most of the current major religions, even sharing in there origins and myths as well as passing on some of our views and values. We are not allowed to actively recruit, engage or try and encourage people to join our numbers or even discuss it with others as we feel it lessens the importance of what we do, and where we are sent.

Do we believe in a God? The simple answer is yes, we do; we have a God, but we also have a plethora of other gods, goddesses and a full line of stories and myths of our own. We tend to adapt other cultures into our own fold to make us less obvious that we are different, part of our survival strategy for the last 1000 years or so was simple; walk among-st the other religions and societies and try and not cause issues with in those circles.

Our belief in God is complex and sometimes it seems like we don’t, in order to understand our hold on our God you must understand that we believe we do not simply die, we are immortal, part of the very fabric of space and time, aware of each strange event and movement of this great energy ball we call reality. We view the world based on perception rather then our view of reality, you see for us, reality is as each of our bodies or vessels make it, we do not know the true value or anything aside from what our mind, our flesh gives it. For this reason, our God is our guide, our father who helps us along this path, when we get stuck or feel alone we mediate, or think about our God who allowed us to return to this mortal plane and ask for guidance. This particular subject I will talk about at a later time.

I will continue about perception; about reality and our effect on it. We have the ability to know people, to know what they hide, what they desire and seek without having to speak to them, we can see your soul, your energy and purpose in this life. If you have ever met someone, and they take one look at you and seem to ‘know’ you, you have meant a Seeker, though most of the time they do not know that about themselves. It is part of their own perceptions of self, we are obsessed with being someone, we forget we are someone. Our outward perception and desires are things that we should be more willing to discuss.

Perception, can vary with each day, or each person, how we hold ourselves in front of Mom and Dad gives us one perception of our selves, how we view our own reflection is another perception of self, we as a person are a mash of different views of us. Before you get annoyed or angry at someone, think of your actions and behaviors and ask, did they perceive my actions differently then I did? Once you understand perception of your own echo, you can start to understand this, you can begin to understand why we keep to ourselves.

There are also different type of Seekers, I am Truth and Enlightenment, my objective is to find the truth in everything, to attain an enlightened state before I die and to help others see their inner light. My colours are black and gold, light in the darkness of time, my symbol is a Golden Eagle on a black field with a gold ring around the eagle. Unity, Light in Darkness and courage for the future.

If you ever meet a Seeker, they can help you, and our God sends us to people, normally to bring them back from the abys or help them along a dangerous path; once we have completed this task we will walk out of that persons life and never come back. We service a higher power then the desires of mortals. I have personally walked 4 or 5 people away from death, but there are many more who I have failed to help. We carry dark secrets from all over our lives, people confide in us, often with no incline as to why they share.

We believe we are sent here to learn, help and become better for our next life, we can be born and reborn again and again and some are lucky enough to remember their past. Some even come back in pairs, though there is still not strong enough evidence to support this claim, but it is not out of the realm of possibility.

We walk this world without knowing what we are, and that leads to a high suicide rate of Seekers, we are taught in this world that the ability to see, hear and feel other people, other things is a sign of mental instability, and in some cases it is, in others you are asking a person to not be them, asking us to not feel the energies of this world, to be normal is akin to asking someone who is gay or bi to simply be normal; and it kills us. We appear to have an uncanncy nack for knowing things, for being aware of changes before they happen, we feel the pulse of the earth, of nature and flow and understand the balance man use to have with nature and our true place in it.

This will be all from me tonight, as I have rampled and diskointed topics, I will be completing this and turning into a memoir of sorts, please enjoy share and remember, no matter how alone you feel, you are never truely alone, this world is connected by energy and strings that we cannot see.

Good night my friends.

To carry on from last night, we do not view ourselves are a religious order, though we have been condemned by such titles in our history. Our life, our existence is more of an existential philosophy, a way of life then a set of rules governed by an ordained God. We walk a path that sometimes leaves us alone, we have desires, urges and needs that most try and ignore and that leads us down the wrong path.

We understand that we are not just one life, one idea of self, we have different aspects of what makes us, well us. We are both good and evil, we are both mean and kind, and know there are no differences between these words except how our actions and words impact others. We try and live good, clean lives by never bringing harm to another, never intentionally saying hurtful things to people and we do our best to never judge. These are no easy tasks, but these are the simple ones.

We have one mandate above all others; We cannot interfere with another soul unless they ask us to, we cannot push our views, values or philosophies on others with out them first inquiring. We do not care how a person lives there life, as long as they do not bring harm to another. People have the right to live free, to be free without outside rules or governance more than simply protecting the innocent from the tyrannical.

I will go into all of these notes later on.

Are we a religion, or are we just a way to live?

We used to have Temples, Shrines and meeting places where we could find others like ourselves, keep our books and lessons from those that came before, but those places are no more. Our Temples, Shrines and homes have been reduced to ash and are but a memory. We survive, only because we understand that we are more then flesh and blood and can leave an imprint on the flesh we take. Others who are around will guide us to try and be what we are, but they are not always succesful and the few that make it to adulthood are afraid to connect with others.

Due to the fact that we still feel hunted and persecuted we will never be in the open again. Sad to say, but we are a feared group.