We all walk in darkness from time to time, we all share the feeling of dread and that never ending feeling of loneliness, these are things we all share and things we all carry in the depths of our soul.
The hard part about these feelings, about these moments in our life is that they appear to have a large impact on our soul or being that cannot be simply dismissed by a remark or talking, they tend to stick with us long after our friends have gone home.
For a lot of us, these feelings start out small, a missed date, or a minor mistake but then they begin to snowball and grow, we think we can keep them in check, we think we can keep up the outward illusion of being happy, but sooner or later, that facade comes crashing down.
It is when it starts being chipped away, worn down by life we begin to try and make ourselves feel better; the normal route is drinking, food, drugs or anything that offers a temporary euphoria. The problem with these methods is that they always end with us in death.
As we try and find purpose as the darkness surrounds us, as we try and hold our head above the waters cold embrace we must remember, that we, are better then our situation, we are better then the creatures trying to berate and beat us. We are stronger of mind and will then anything that tries to harm us.
I know it seems impossible, that life tries so hard to make us suffer we must remember one key thing, we still have control over our own mind, our own soul. We can decide weather to live or die, and trust me on this, death is no easy way out, the pain, anguish and torment on your own soul is not worth it, and in a Seeker’s soul you know you have to live this again until you over come the challenges. Think about it, what if, as a punishment for taking our own life, we have to live this life over and suffer again, what better Hell then a life on repeat?
We are never really alone in life, we are never really abaondned we always have friends we can turn to, I know they may not understand but let them try, they mean well by you, but there is also the living things that can give us strength and comfort. Clear your mind and remember, you are important, you are here with purpose and to end your own life, to walk into the abyss will only cause more pain in the end. You may think it ends yours, but remember your soul, your very energy is connected to everything you leave behind.
It has implications far reaching then your own flesh, I know it must seem weird reading this hear, but remember I have walked this path, I have faced death and taken my own life while humming the poem “Brace Your Sword on the Wall, Take a breath and End It All!”
I know when the darkness creeps in and you feel that taking your own life is a clear answer, but it is not, it is a way for you to be controlled again, be pushed into a corner and watched as you wither and die.
Think about it, you are strong, you are powerful and yet, yet you let this corrupt filthy sorry excuse for a world decide when you should leave. That to me is one of the most idiot things we can do, we are Seekers, we are to rise above the desires of mortal flesh and LIVE!
Stand tall, stand proud you are alive because you are meant to be, these minor challenges are just that, challenges, you will over come, you will be better and you will not only survive but live.
Do not let the pettyness of man dictate your life, do not let some minor set back stop you, fighting is what we do, we fight to survive, we fight to eat, but most of all we fight for our right to exist. We know this world, we know we can die, but why not on our terms?
Darkness comsumes us, that is part of our curse, but we are also light, we are also wisdom. When you are feeling down, go for a walk, reach out to tlak to someone, and remember, this world is not worth your life, this world has to be reminded of who and what you are.
Know that no matter what, you are loved, you are cherished and you are not alone. We are not alone.
We might be shrouded in darkness and spread to the ends of the earth, but we are here together, we are standing here together. We are not alone.